


The Consequences of Improv

by conceptstage



Series: Critical Fiction [20]
Category: Critical Role (Web Series)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-03
Updated: 2018-10-03
Packaged: 2019-07-24 15:26:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 584
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16177898
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/conceptstage/pseuds/conceptstage
Summary: Caleb faked a heart attack at Nott's suggestion and now Beau's not about to let him die in peace.





	The Consequences of Improv

“Can I get another ale, please?” Caleb asked the barmaid quietly when she came over for refills.

Beau shook her head and leaned over him to get the young woman’s attention. “He’s already had two tonight, he’ll have a water.”

Caleb blinked in surprise. “What? It’s only two-”

“You just had a heart attack, man, I don’t think you need to be drinking anything at all. I let you have those first two because I’m not exactly the person to lecture someone else about going sober, but I’m watching you now. If you’re gonna die it’s not gonna be from some disease, old man.”

“Old…- I’m in my thirties-!”

Beau ignored him and nodded to the barmaid. “So, yeah, water. For him. I’ll have an ale please.”

The barmaid nodded and walked away from the table, leaving the two of them alone. Jester and Fjord had gone off to charm the owner for information and now Jester was talking about the Traveler while Fjord looked on with a pinched expression of regret. Nott had snuck off in the back to see if she could find any rats because Yasha said that she missed the taste and the barbarian was playing lookout, leaning casually against the bar and glaring at anyone who came near. Caduceus had had a long day and had gone straight to bed, so it just left to two of them at the table set for six.

“You don’t need to do that, Beau. It wasn’t a heart attack it was…” fake? “... an episode.”

“Nott was certain you were going to die. She seemed familiar with this, had it happened before? How often do you have these episodes, Caleb?”

He sighed. He wouldn’t have listened to Nott if he’d known it would have come to this. “Look, it’s not a big deal. Nott was just being dramatic. It’s happened once before, several years ago, and I just told her about it is all.”

Beau grunted in annoyance and opened her mouth to speak but paused when the barmaid came over with two identical mugs. Beau glanced in them briefly to make sure one was water and nodded, handing it to him. “Thanks,” she said, giving the woman a wink. The girl blushed and hurried away and the monk was distracted by that for a few moments, before unfortunately turning her attention back to her friend. “Either way, we’re gonna be more careful from now. No overexertion, no excessive drinking.”

“Those two things make up 90% of our lives.”

She shrugged and took a sip of her mug. “Well, we’ll figure it out. But if you’re gonna die, it’s not gonna be from whatever the fuck that was. You’re going out in a fucking blaze of glory with the rest of us.”

Caleb stared at her for a moment, trying to figure out if he was more annoyed that she was trying to pointlessly micromanage his health or pleased that she cared about him that much. Right now he was leaning towards annoyed, so he sneered at her and called her a name in zemnian under his breath before taking a sad little sip of his water. “ _ Miststück _ …” 

She smirked in response and pat his shoulder as she got up to go flirt with the barmaid. “Try not to die while I’m gone, Grandpa,” she teased.

“You won’t be gone long, you’ll turn her off the second you open your mouth.” She just laughed and flipped him off without looking back at him.


End file.
